Black Holes are a myth

Myth?

Myth?

Black holes are a myth it was claimed yesterday in a startling development which runs contrary to the majority of self-riotous TV boffins like the smug and grinning Professor Brian Cox.

Mr. Jones, a former shelf stacker at Mac Fisheries, made the claim yesterday in an interview with this web site while sitting in front of his television. He stated that, theoretically, anything could escape a black hole though he added the caveat that escape would require an enormous amount of fuel and conceded that there may be engineering challenges related to tidal effects that make implementations of black hole escape impractical. However he asserted that this “…doesn’t make it a scientific impossibility  for fuck’s sake….”. His findings refers to the oft stated supposition that nothing can escape a black hole because the escape velocity of a black hole is greater than the speed of light and nothing can exceed the speed of light.

smug and grinning?

smug and grinning?

However, Mr. Jones points out that a rocket moving out of a “gravity well” does not actually need to attain escape velocity to escape, but could achieve the same result (escape) at any speed with a suitable mode of propulsion and sufficient propellant to provide the accelerating force on the object to escape. Escape velocity is only required to send a ballistic object on a trajectory that will allow the object to escape the gravity well of the mass.

The implications are obvious said Mr. Jones “…these lame TV scientists with their stupid corduroy jackets and patched elbows think we’re all bloody stupid…”. If true his claim could have far reaching and fundamental implications for accepted cosmological theories and render the concepts of dark matter and dark energy obsolete.

fundemental implications for accepted cosmological theories

fundemental implications for accepted cosmological theories

Mr. Jones explained the background to his conclusion while quaffing large glasses of a fair to middling bottle of Lidl Barolo saying “I spoke to this blond bird who was some kind of astronomer at a science fair last weekend….” and he belched and drooled for a minute before collecting his thoughts, ”….She got all confused when I put it to her…” and Mr. Jones sniggered but went on ”…there may be other factors preventing stuff leaving a black hole but when they bang on about the light speed limitation for escape velocity they’re Talking Bollocks! Why the fuck can’t they tell us the truth? That’s what I’d like to know….these bastards on the TV, Cox got an OBE for Christ’s sake! I could do his job….why can’t I have an OBE?…..”

Mr. Jones then became incoherent and the interview was terminated. Professor Cox has yet to respond.

Driverless Cars – Virtual Humanity

Virtual Reality

Virtual Reality

Once again technology seems to be the spirit of the age. While The Daily Telegraph warns of another looming financial Armageddon the TechMARK index stands at its highest level ever. Big Data, cloud computing and smartphones are just the thin end of the wedge. Artificial Intelligence is now what its about. The creation of a fully automated “global world” (ugh!).

Virtual Humanity

Virtual Humanity

 

It seems to me that a lot of this new technology is not driven by human want or need but by massive corporations with massive amounts of cash and nowhere to put it. The world economy is shafted and they can’t make money from existing industries so they’re inventing new markets. For the economy this could be a good thing but for humanity, I’m not so sure.

Take driverless cars for example. For decades there has been no great demand for this. In 2014 there were 1,775 road deaths in the UK. A lot admittedly and arguably the media should be more upset about this than the handful of deaths caused by terrorism but as a society we are inured to road deaths. The government, the car industry and the population have agreed to turn a blind eye to road casualties probably for two reasons: First driving is so bloody useful and secondly because it’s great fun.

However, driverless cars are the now the thing and it can’t be long before Brad Pitt emerges from a driverless car at the Oscars. As technology improves and stats emerge that driverless cars are safer than cars driven by people expect to face a barage of stories to frighten us into allowing laws banning human piloted automobiles. All in the interests of road safety you understand. (Ka-Ching!).

Of course driverless cars will be safer but they’ll also means a further step in the absolute pacification of mankind. While we’re driven to work in our air conditioned personal transport pods – lights flashing and the voice of Stephen Hawking announcing “Attention, vehicle in motion” – we’ll need something to entertain at us.

We’ll need to “consume” more shit films or TV programs about cake. We’ll watch music videos of some blond millionaire twenty something from Los Angeles telling us how she’s had it tough but is sticking it to the man and we can all be like her by paying for her music. We’ll play Grand Theft Auto and pretend we’re speeding around Los Santos in a Porsche rather than trundling along at a constant 30 miles per hour in a creaking plastic box from a dormitory housing estate near Chelmsford to a job at a factory office near Stratford.

Technology peaked in the 1940s with the introduction of the home freezer, everything that followed has been efficiency gains, keeping up with the Jones’ or, as Herman Hesse would have it: “…no more service to man than as an escape from himself and his true aims, and a means of surrounding himself with an ever closer mesh of distractions and useless activities”.

Hesse didn’t understand the half of it. In the 21st century, we are busy constructing the dystopia that previous generations only read about.